1/4 life crisis is a thing. The main reason I haven't been active on here lately is because I've felt the pressure to be so active in everything in real life. I've basically felt like a crazy person. Now that I've graduated college and I'm officially in "the real world" there has been a lot of pressure on my shoulders. Pressure to know what I'm doing with the rest of my life, pressure to be in a relationship, pressure to somehow work 50+ hour weeks and still find time to do extracurricular activities such as volunteer, heck even go to church. Church has been such a wonderful aspect of my life, but right now to have the time, especially in my field, it's extraordinarily difficult to plan out. Trying to balance life, bills, moving, packing for that matter; it's a lot to try to keep up in the air.
I feel that this is one of the aspects of life that isn't brought up on the internet other than on facebook or twitter. I bring this up here not to be a complainer or to get all emo on everyone but I feel like it should be talked about.
Finding a balance at any age is difficult but there is, somehow, this moment that is expected to happen once you graduate college. The moment where you know your exact path of where you want to go in life, and how you're going to get there. At least for me, that didn't happen. When I was in college, I thought that would happen after I graduated. I would get that piece of paper and all would be clear of where I wanted to move, and what specific career path was my chosen path.
I feel, for me at least, there is a reason that didn't happen. My personality is one in which I love to know what's next. Is my car clean, not at all, it's basically a mini closet in there. But, in the big decisions in life I want to know which is the correct path to take. I feel that the reasoning I don't know the answer to all the "big decisions" is, because if I did, what's the point of faith.
These are my feeling that I've been bottling up, but I don't think I need to. My hope with sharing this with you is that, if you're in my stage of life, you know that you're not alone in trying to figure out what's going on. This is a season in life, and it's a wonderful one. It's also a stressful one, and having the option to pick a career and mindset is a gift! Sometimes we just need the reminder that this happens and it's ok. It's ok to not know all the answers. It's ok to try different careers or different hairstyle. Keeping what at the core of life what should be there is the most important, and it's normal to have two days off a week, stop feeling guilty!