Me and My 1/4 life crisis

1/4 life crisis is a thing. The main reason I haven't been active on here lately is because I've felt the pressure to be so active in everything in real life. I've basically felt like a crazy person. Now that I've graduated college and I'm officially in "the real world" there has been a lot of pressure on my shoulders. Pressure to know what I'm doing with the rest of my life, pressure to be in a relationship, pressure to somehow work 50+ hour weeks and still find time to do extracurricular activities such as volunteer, heck even go to church. Church has been such a wonderful aspect of my life, but right now to have the time, especially in my field, it's extraordinarily difficult to plan out. Trying to balance life, bills, moving, packing for that matter; it's a lot to try to keep up in the air. 
I feel that this is one of the aspects of life that isn't brought up on the internet other than on facebook or twitter. I bring this up here not to be a complainer or to get all emo on everyone but I feel like it should be talked about. 
Finding a balance at any age is difficult but there is, somehow, this moment that is expected to happen once you graduate college. The moment where you know your exact path of where you want to go in life, and how you're going to get there. At least for me, that didn't happen. When I was in college, I thought that would happen after I graduated. I would get that piece of paper and all would be clear of where I wanted to move, and what specific career path was my chosen path. 
I feel, for me at least, there is a reason that didn't happen. My personality is one in which I love to know what's next. Is my car clean, not at all, it's basically a mini closet in there. But, in the big decisions in life I want to know which is the correct path to take. I feel that the reasoning I don't know the answer to all the "big decisions" is, because if I did, what's the point of faith.
These are my feeling that I've been bottling up, but I don't think I need to. My hope with sharing this with you is that, if you're in my stage of life, you know that you're not alone in trying to figure out what's going on. This is a season in life, and it's a wonderful one. It's also a stressful one, and having the option to pick a career and mindset is a gift! Sometimes we just need the reminder that this happens and it's ok. It's ok to not know all the answers. It's ok to try different careers or different hairstyle. Keeping what at the core of life what should be there is the most important, and it's normal to have two days off a week, stop feeling guilty!

Not in College Anymore

I really want to sing Britney Spears' song "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman!!" Two points to anyone who also knows that song. Anyways, I had one of those moments two days ago where I was reminded that I'm in a different stage of life now. Since graduating from college it's been such a whirlwind of emotions and expectations that I haven't really stopped and thought about changing phases. The fact is that I'm in a completely new stage of life that I have never experienced before. 

Enjoying some froyo ^ and macaroons. The raspberry was my favorite.

When I graduated from high school I knew the next step, for me, was college. However, once graduating from college that road map is empty. My core beliefs are still there, but the actual easy "ok, this is now what I'm suppose to do" is gone. I haven't been reminded of that in such as obvious way, until I went back to campus. Two days ago I needed to visit my college campus and was instantly reminded of how "old" I was.  It was in no way a bad thing, it was just that I no longer fit there. I overheard the college woes of having to write papers and social drama. I'm already missing the days of "I don't want to go to class today, so I wont." 

The beautiful bouquet ^ currently on my dining room table. They make me happy
Now, there are times when I also don't "fit" with those who have graduated that seem to have life fully figured out. I'm not on the "six months till we're married" track, but I'm also not on the "I have not idea what's going on in the universe" track. I know more answers now than I did in college, yet I'm still so far from knowing all the answers. It's terrifying and exciting. There are so many opportunities that are available to me right now, and yet those same opportunities are the ones that scare me.  If you're out there like me, or you're about to graduate from college, have no fear. You are in no way alone. We can figure things out, we just don't have to know all the facts right now. For now, I'm just trying to keep my priorities in line and trust that my future is in good hands. Other than that I'm just focusing on growing up but not growing boring. I love the small aspects of life! I just have to remember to pause and see them. 

I'm a college graduate! (with a new snazy blog design)

I'm a COLLEGE GRADUATE!! Craziness! I feel so relieved, and now I'm moving onto a new stage of life, nervous but excited! 

Today I want to celebrate for two reasons: I'm done with classes and the awesome and very talented Erin from Two Thirds Hazel did an amazing update to my blog and made me an entirely new design based on my interests! You should definitely go check her blog out! She has been so awesome through the entire process; I truly love it! I also graduated; graduation was exciting but super long. The highlights were the bagpipe people at the beginning followed by a fancy woman holding a scepter, which I didn't get a picture with, sad day, and also the guy three rows behind me that yelled "For Gryffindor!" randomly in the middle of the ceremony. The rest was good, but basically I was waiting to get out so that I could take pictures with my family and friends. After, we were all hungry, and done taking pictures, so we went out to eat. This was my delicious tiramisu that I shared, because I'm nice! So excited to start this new chapter of my life, and Christmas is less than 10 days away. This week has been a pretty good week so far.

Graduation, Now What?

From Pinterest

I graduate college in about two weeks, two weeks how crazy is that. And then what? I have no idea. Now, I have plans and wishes but as far as fully knowing what's coming next I don't, none of us do really. When it comes to the self talk in my mind it's hard for me to describe, but over the past few months I've started to learn some things about myself and I figured if it's something I need to learn, someone else out there has to have realized this too about themselves.

I define myself. That's sometimes a good thing and sometimes a bad thing. I enjoy a multitude of different things about life and some of them I'm more knowledgeable in than others and that's ok. I don't have to be just a nerd, or t.v. watcher, dancer, Christian, or crafter I can, and am a mixture of those and that's fine. Just because I haven't read all of the iron man comics doesn't mean I can't be a nerd. I enjoy a bunch of nerdy things and I can call myself a nerd if I want to, who really has the authority to tell me otherwise?

I still want to do so many things before graduation. I want to read books, and watch movies, and relax with my friends, and try drawing I don't know I want to do a multitude of things.

I want it to get cold! It was just Thanksgiving and thank God it was cool, but now I really don't want it to get warm again. I'm in Florida so it very rarely ever gets actually cold but I would love it to stay 60 degrees or below in my dream Christmas, come on Florida.

Probably the largest realization that I have had is that somewhere in middle school or high school I gathered this idea in my mind that when people graduated from college they knew exactly where, when, who, why, how, and all other possible questions that had to do with their careers and life in general. I don't know if someone told me this "fact" or if I somehow came up with it myself but let me tell you not everyone knows the answers to these questions. Now, if you know the answers to these that is truly amazing and I'm truly happy you have parts of life figured out. However, in my experience, I haven't had the most clear of experiences. I know a multitude more about myself and my goals from going through college and all the experiences that come along with it, but there are so many aspects I don't have figured out.

Not that I need to have everything figured out, but I'm such an internal thinker that my mind just goes and all of a sudden I'm thinking about taxes and living locations and dentists. Ya, sometimes I just need to chill and watch some tv or lay on my floor, yup I do that. Over the past few weeks I've been letting myself get so stressed that all I've been doing is studying and be nervous for graduation, because you know that's super healthy.

Perspective during these times is so important because no matter what stage of life you may be in, when you graduate college you don't have to have everything figured out. I know who I am and what I believe and if I truly believe what I say I believe why should I be so worried. Haha I hope that made sense. This post has been one that I've been debating to post or not. The reason I am is because If I'm stressing over this I would assume that people before me have stressed over this and people who will graduate after me will be stressing too. Find some comfort in knowing that you're not alone, and you don't have to have life fully figured out, and also it's important to take breaks and naps!

Dr Who it's our 50th anniversary!

With so so much schoolwork and stress and work work...today I'm going to watch the 50th anniversary special!! Why, because my doctor told me to. I had to. There are so many aspects of life that are stressful, but today I'm so excited for Dr Who. I'm going to eat lots of food and watch tv and probably freak out a few times over the episode. Until then, here are a few Dr Who items to tide you over! Happy Anniversary Whovians!

See which Doctor you are most like via BBC

See which doctor would win in this hunger games spoof

Watch this fantastic The Night of the Doctor that Erin showed me!

Or just relax and drink some tea in preparation for today's anniversary. I can't wait!

All images from my pinterest

Dr Who T.A.R.D.I.S. Dress DIY

I'm so excited about the big 50th anniversary episode of Dr Who! It's just such a great show. I love when details of a show are carefully places and taken care of and this show definitely does it! Even having jokes date back to the first doctor.

To honor such a fun night, we're all going to watch it together and I want to dress up. There were many different outfits I looked up but I've always had a soft spot in my heart for the Tardis and wanted to dress up like her. I'm a simple version but I'm sure she would appreciate the sentiment.

The hardest and most fun part is finding the dress. You have to either make one that is Tardis blue or be on the lookout! I found this beauty in a thrift shop and immediately thought Dr Who, good sign that it's the right dress. Two patches of white fabric and one long patch of black fabric are next on the list, followed closely by fabric paint. I thought maybe acrylic would work just as well, nope, stick with fabric. Also when you're writing, having fabric paint is much easier to handle. The hardest part is the hand stitching. I may or may not have accidentally stitched myself into the dress at one point but it's worth hand stitching rather than taping. It's more secure and holds longer.

My favorite part was putting the outfit together. I layered a trench coat over the dress, glasses, and white converse for the 10th doctor. I also added a bow tie for the 11th. I like the combination because of all the different faces he's had and yet the Tardis has always been there. I also added a little Tardis book and a police sign. So much fun to make!

My first pumpkin carving!

With very cautious hands and a pocket knife I carved my first ever pumpkin. My parents say I carved one when I was around three, but I don't remember doing so. There is a lot of work that goes into pumpkin carving, but it's super fun...and you can use the seeds and make a delicious snack for yourself while carving.

I love pumpkin patches. They have such a fun atmosphere with all the pumpkins to choose from and gourds and everyone trying to choose their favorite pumpkin. Give me a cup of coffee, cool weather, and nothing to do for an afternoon and I'm completely content. 

There he is, little Gerald. I hope you can tell he's an owl. It was so much fun carving pumpkins and seeing what everyone else came up with. At the end of the night we had an owl, a pirate, iron man, and two scary pumpkin faces. So much fun! Now I'm off to decorate for the Halloween party tonight! What's your favorite pumpkin carving you've ever done?

My top 10 favorite youtube channels

There are many days when I'm suppose to be studying or otherwise being productive online and social media calls out to me, and I obviously answer. One of my main weaknesses is youtube.

There are so many fantastic people out there with amazing musical talent and intriguing content that I get lost for hours watching. Here are my top 10 favorite youtube channels. You should go subscribe to them, and let me know what yours are so I can look them up as well!

Vlog Brothers (John and Hank Green) Brothers who vlog every week. They also have their own channels about science and facts and they write books and sing songs. Basically they do everything.

Toby Turner and all of his shenanigans. Gotta love this guy from Florida! Although he's now out in LA, but anywho he also has a bunch of channels doing different things like lazy vlogs and playing pc games. Oh, an gryphon is a seriously cute dog!

Blimeycow He's pretty funny. He was home schooled and loves to debunk all the "rules" about what being a homeschooling really is. He also talks about a bunch of other topics making his a pretty diverse channel.

Lindsey Stirling Some serious talent in this one, and she dances along to her songs! So sweet and such a true talent. And aren't her braids so cool and unique.

Sam Tsui and Kurt (on the left). They are both so good and have their own channels. They do well working with other people, but I personally think they do some of their best work when they work with each other.

Pentatonix All voices and awesomeness. They won the sing off in 2011 and have been on an upswing ever since. Their voice blend so well together and they always look like they're having fun in their videos.

Tyler Ward The man has really good hair. He is also an excellent singer and plays guitar. He has some really great music. I particularly like his new song he just posted the official video for, Falling. Go check it out.

Peter Hollens One time I listened to the Misty Mountains compilation he put together for about an hour without realizing it. So good!

Chestersee He's hilarious, and has a really cool raspy voice. One of the best things about youtubers is they sometimes work together, yes that is Toby Turner in the purple. 

The Piano Guys During Holiday season you'll thank me for introducing you to these guys, unless you already know who they are. In that case, good music choices!

These aren't the only channels I watch but these are some of my most consistently watched channels. If you feel that I've missed anyone, and that's quite possible, let me know!

All images are from my pinterest. and all links go to their youtube accounts.

A Beautiful Wedding

I went home this past weekend and spend some time with a few friends from high school. One of my close friends, let's call her E, got married and it was such a beautiful ceremony. It was on the beach and the rain held out just long enough for the ceremony. As soon as we left it started raining, God's timing and protection. 

E and N's reception was very much so them with mason jars and lanterns on the tables. This was such a special day in their lives and I am so privileged to have been there to support them! Oh and they drove off in the batmobile, come on how awesome. 

Oh the humanity!! ...And other reactions

Talk about stress, it seems as though things will not slow down, and getting sick doesn't help either. In the midst of all the stress and planning it's nice to take a breather and stop looking at my school work or work work and zone out for a bit. If you're in the level I'm at, here are a few moments of relaxation. Feel free to start a relaxing or funny picture swap.

all from my pinterest

January Obsessions

I can't believe it's been so long since I've done one of these, that must be remedied immediately! This month some of my favorites are:

Pitch perfect. Yes I am months behind but I'm making up for it. I love musicals and 

this one although not your typical musical is great.

My new Ukulele. I've been playing it nonstop and it's so much fun to learn. It's my

 first string instrument and I was a little nervous going from piano to a completely new 

way to playing music but it's so much fun! I only know a few songs but this was 

definitely worth the investment. 

Fruit Smoothies especially pineapple ones have been my favorite recently. I go 

through phases where I love certain types of fruit and this month has been pineapple, 

so yummy. I've been adding all kinds of fruits together and they combine so well. 

Deliciousness

Thrift Shop cover by Pentatonix. I've been on a major youtube singers kick. In case you haven't heard of them, above is pentatonix  they're an awesome all vocal group. There's 

also Sam Tsui, Tyler Ward, Chester See and many more.

Mason Jar to go Cup. Super old post from the lovely Fine + Feathered. With it getting warmer and warmer down here I would love to have this little guys as a tag along 

on my car trips!

What have you been loving this month?